Junior High School

Let me tell you a short story about my junior high school. I don't really like my junior high school. I was bullied by some girls and of course it left me such a traumatic. I was being in this, that and there class. I was in different class each year during my three years junior high. It was not a physical bullying indeed. But it was mentally bullying. My friends kept calling me "too-much girl" or lebay in Bahasa. I know I always overacted. I will laugh out loud, angry like a monster, and other bold expressions. But this is me. I was born with those bold expressions. I thought it was me that is wrong before. But after I growing up, I realize that people were born with their own behavior. There are people who always smile all the time (I'm always afraid of this people. They can somehow hiding something), there are people who will think positively all the time, there are someone who afraid of this and that thing, there is someone who hard to cry, and so on. This is life. We were born differently.

I remember that I had never mocked people on purpose, treated someone bad, or talked at their back. No, I'm not that kind of girl. But those girls and some others kept mocking me right in front of my face and behind my back. I wonder did I ever do something wrong to them? I pass my junior high school with bold face and wondering how should I act. I remember that day when I was sneezing, and they were repeating me and make it more dramatic. Please, who is having such a too-much act here? And the day when the teacher were announcing the what-to-bring stuffs for tomorrow practicum. We're going to cut the frog anyway. It's dirty of course. That's why I asked, "Mam, can we bring gloves for tomorrow practicum?". And you have to know, they're mocking. "Oh my god, you can hold the frog yourself", "You act too much again", "Come on why should we use the gloves? Don't be weak" and so on. But on the next day, they brought gloves. Well, supa dupa labile idiot gurls.

The girls I talk about is not in these photos. But some of people in these photos called me the same calling too. I've forgiven them. Really. I don't hate them at all since I never can hate someone or even dislike someone. But those bad day left a bad effect. I don't have any self confidence to show myself. To tell my idea, I need to pretend that it's not me who is talking. I have to be another person that is me. Almost in every time I give my idea, I feel bad of those ideas. All I want to say, if you like and enjoy mocking someone. Don't be too rude. Please know the limit. Who knows that person whom you bully looks okay with it meanwhile he/she has been hurt or killed inside. I believe words kill. And if you're the one who be bullied, don't take every word whatever they're saying about you. Have a self-confidence. Don't fall for the same stupid thing like me. The proof that I have no self confidence is I will not sing in front of many people. My old friends, even my bestfriends, keep saying that I have such a bad voice and always sing the false tune. I don't dance anymore because my auntie tell me that I look so bad while dancing. And there are lot of thing I like that I'm not doing it anymore because of those bad words. But then I realize, if I'm bad in this and that, it means I have to practice more then. No, you should not fall for words no matter how sharp it is. But let it cut the less of you and build the more of you in positive way. 

On last Wednesday, I were having breakfasting with my junior high school friends. It feels like rolling the old film about my junior high school back. Being bullied doesn't mean I don't have any beautiful moment during my junior high school. Those boys who have been guys were still the same. Keep making joke here and there. I was dying laughing all the time. We used to have jokes when we're in jhs indeed. I don't think there are something change. They're still the same. Maybe it's me who change a little bit. I mean, my hair. They've never seen me in short hair. It's nice to have chit and chat with old friends. I really really really have already forgiven every bad thing happened.

After eating, we were playing our old games with some modification so all the people got the truth or dare chance. Yes, we were playing truth or dare games. This game never affect me so much especially when I choose truth. If I choose dare, come on, I've been used to do any embarrassing thing. But that day, I chose truth. The old-the-most-lame question appear. "Who was the boy you ever like or love in junior high school". The answer is "no". I'm not that easy to fall girl. Accept it and thing another thing that you can ask about me that will make me panic. Not that kind of old and lame question.

Thanks to that games I've known some couple that I don't know during the junior high school. And it was me the only one who don't know about the couples. Well, I'm not interesting in any gossip and unsure things indeed. I've been living this life without trying to put my ear to any unsure news about people I know. I'd believe it if it's the statement straight from the person.

That's all about last Wednesday. Oh, and for your information. Super Junior just comeback and you have to know that I'm supa dupa happy! I have to order the album! But...just realize that I have no money. Too sad indeed. It has been 10 years of Super Junior already. Wow how time flies ya. I was in elementary school when I know Super Junior for the first time. Those flower boys has grown up become a gentle man. And I, I have grown to although it's not too much. Anyway, realizing I can't follow the update of Siwon's photos on his instagram because I have no instagram anymore, I decided to make a new account. Go follow me here. Below is our selfies! Because girls without selfie are not girls. Happy Sunday, peeps! Have the blessed one :) 

xoxo

lady-to-be